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A la carte or package background checks?

Ann (puts down leftover drumstick, wipes hands on jeans): “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Prospective Client: “I am uh, shopping around for uh, you know, uh background checks.” Ann: “That’s great! There are a lot of good companies out there. What do you need in a background check?” Prospective Client (trying to be patient—didn’t Ann…

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Should Santa screen His Elves?

[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Santa: “I think one of my elves is stealing from me.” Ann: “Oh my. Surely you ran a background check on her before you hired her for the Workshop?” Santa: “Ho ho ho. Well, no. It seemed like a waste of money. They are only going to…

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Be Grateful that you do Background checks, lessening the risk of juries and headlines

[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I hear Thanksgiving is one of your favorite holidays.” Ann (hikes up sleeves of her sweater adorned with a turkey): “It is! Fall foliage, cool days, all the gratitude and family. . .” Customer: “Geez. . .you SOUND like a Norman Rockwell painting.” Ann (continues, not…

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Hiring Horror Story Part IV: Bad Driving Record Check (Attorney with suspended license—DUI—Vaco)

[Phone rings] Ann: “HOCUS POCUS.” Customer [takes a beat]: “That’s a modern-day Halloween classic!” Ann: “Yup. Good background checks aren’t magic. But they might seem like it.” Customer [groans]: “Oh man that was cheesy.” Ann [hangs stuffed bat and broom on outside the office door, puts candy on table]: “I feel like a bubbling caldron…

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Hiring Horror Story Part II: Bad Reference Check

[Phone rings] Ann: “TRICK OR TREAT!” Customer [takes a beat]: “Still feeling festive?” Ann: “Well, yeah. Cutting Edge, Ann speaking.” Customer: “I know where you can’t tell a scary story.” Ann [takes large swallow of her pumpkin spice latte]: “Try me.” Customer: “References. Everyone can find a coupla decent references.” Ann [turns off office light,…

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But they will work offsite…

[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I’m bringin’ in some contractors, and they can’t possibly be a liability.” Ann (wonders what planet this guy came from, swallows her bran muffin): “Do tell.” Customer: “They’re gonna work offsite. They can’t take a swing at my customers and they can’t steal from their co-workers….

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But they won’t be here long…

[Phone rings] Ann: “Cutting Edge, this is Ann.” Customer: “I have this real short-term project, and I’m gonna pick up some contractors, just for this one deal.” Ann (takes a large swallow of kale juice): “How many of your daughter’s college roommates are you going to hire?” Customer: “HEY—how did you know. . .” Ann…

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Hiring employees in today’s world can be challenging in many ways. With these simple tips and guidelines, you can learn how to avoid toxic workers in a #MeToo, High-Tech, Active Shooter, Headlines, Juries and Ban the Box world.

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